Suffice to say…

I really am not in a happy place right now.  I'm not sure whether it's life, hormones, or both, but…I just can't smile today no matter how hard I've tried.
A tisket, a tasket, a victim in a casket…

The minute a song plays….

Even through my sick haze I can see the scene so clearly in my mind it's as if I was right there.  I'm reminded of how much I have, living here in the United States. I still have that awful flu that has been going around; I'm on antibiotics now, and will see the light at the end of the tunnel. 

Even though I am well below the poverty line, I have access to medical care, I have a place to live, and food to eat and clean clothes to wear.  I live in a safe neighborhood.  I have access to the internet, and a quality education, even when I am unable to leave my home.  I never have to choose between food and heat.  I don't have to worry about a lot of things.  I even have a chance at work down the road.  I have it pretty good.

Some would say I live like a queen, others may say I'm barely existing.  I'm living the best way I know how.

Yes, I have my problems.  Everyone does.  But I'm learning to cope with them, and picking myself up (or trying to)
I'm tired, but I'm trying not to give up.

Quick post before I head off into the land of math…

Still down with "The Flu from Hell" Dr. appointment Friday.  Dentist moved to 5/21/08 at 11:00

Things that I don't often blog about:

I don't often blog about my mental illness, or the joys that go along with it.  (There are none, really)

I don't blog about school, or my mood swings…hell I barely blog about my faith, and my dreams. 

I just don't have words….

I don't even know where to start, if I DID want to blog about such things….

Hi, old friend…it’s me again, about to untwist the cap a bit more

But before I do so, I want to put the word out there about a blog I read daily.  It’s called Polar to Bipolar: The Secret Life of a Manic Depressive

It’s a definite read for many, many reasons.

I’m struggling with a lot, and I feel like I’m sinking.  The PTSD demon has reared its head along with very, very intense emotions.  I can’t write it all down.  Head swimming.

OY OY OY…

Someone silence the damned elephant IN MY CHEST please…..
OW. 
It sounds like I have croupe, but thank the hell I don't, just a deep, nasty chest cough and sounding like a boy in puberty. Stuffed up too.  I'm considering sleeping upright somehow so I can breathe tonight, but we'll see.  IMs or email are best bets until further notice.
No fever, but throat is still tore up as all hell.  Ordered to rest voice, tackling math quiz even though all I wanna do is snuggle up with a gorgeous pilot or three and just sleep.  Thank you to those who've sent well wishes, I will answer individually when I'm able, I promise.

I haven't been sick like this in a long ass while.  *snuggles my pilot icon* 
10 random facts:
1.  I see dead people.  A lot.  I talk to them too, and they talk back.
2.  I eat sandwiuches from the middle out sometimes, provided they aren't drowned in condiments.
3.  I am in love with/fascinated with all things from the 1880's up until the 1940s era, especially when it has to do with Europe.
4.  I like planes and tanks, a lot.
5.  I speak several languages, but only a few fluently.  Currently in my learning list is German.
6.  I love most types of music, except extreme rap and hip-hop.
7.  I believe in past lives
8.  I have a lot of weird sensory issues because of the cerebral palsy.  There are days I can't tell if a Pepsi is sweet enough, and I will try to sneak sugar into it, and other days when I taste so intensely that it can lock my jaw for about ten seconds
9.  I have to have background noise when studying or else I can't concentrate.
10. I can't tell an inch from a foot or a mile from a meter.  Distances are foreign to me.
So…any questions?
5.   

I can has neue body nao?

No voice, at all…left knee went out, right leg hurts like a mofo, and Aunt Flo landed today.  I know there are bigger problems out there, trust me.  I will be MIA until I get my shiznit together.  I have a job interview wednesday, and I hope I have enough voice by then….