Tweets for Today

Achtung!
Lessen Sie hier bitte.

• 22:10 still tired…anxious and stressing #
• 22:11 praying still #
• 22:11 emailed HR about job…again…no news yet #
• 22:14 flaky LJ? Good thing I post here. #
• 22:15 want mac…badly #
• 22:16 bedtime soon…boo! hiss! I hate sleep. Go away nightmares. On a good note, I'm not smoking at the moment. #
• 22:37 I really hate sleep #
• 23:25 Trying to sleep #
• 23:30 Gah can't relax. Why am I obsessing? #
• 23:32 Can't relax til I hear from HR #
• 23:47 Gone crackers. Round the bend. Miss someone #
• 23:55 I am about to cry. full stop. #
• 23:59 is going to try and sleep. if she can. needs to cry #

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Tweets for Today

Achtung!
Lessen Sie hier bitte.

• 23:14 ergh…tired #

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Tweets for Today

What I'm doing

• 23:31 much owie. take omfg pill, go boom #
• 23:33 muscles getting revenge…joints too. #
• 23:33 ni ni all… #

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Tweets for Today

What I'm doing

• 00:07 getting ready for dreamland #
• 00:08 had a quiet xmas…warm…full belly and clothes #
• 00:09 got some last minute pressies #
• 00:12 still no word on job…hope I get it #
• 00:13 spent time online with family #
• 00:14 no word from blood family fine by me…miss grandma #

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errrrgh

Had loooooong ass talk with hin and found out the real reason he won't try and save. Or do much of anything re: relationship foo and I'll save that for another post. Bottom line. As far as I'm concerned I'm single. I do love him, but I don't have the strength to hold us both up all the time. He praised me for being open and honest with him, and said he'd try. But I'l believe ir when I SEE it.

I did learn a lot about his relatiomship patterns though.

For now, though I leave the 'seeking the soulmate' thing to the gods. I'm too tired. I need to concentrate on what's in front of me, the rest will fall in my sights. I can't crash the plane. That would suck.

Tweets for Today

What I'm doing

• 15:41 Trying not to cry, and failing tinyurl.com/7hp9lh #
• 17:38 plodding along #
• 00:05 I have certainly picked myself up and intend to move on, but i am numb. #
• 00:07 I am contemplating a macbook pro. what are the pros and cons of this vs. a pc laptop? #
• 11:58 Today will be quiet i think not really in the mood to talk to anyone #

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Tweets for Today

What I'm doing

• 19:40 gah. hurt and disappointed #
• 19:41 why bother loving someone if it doesn't seem they're capable of giving…I really am ready to give up. #
• 19:42 I can't cry because if I do, I won't stop #
• 19:43 it was over with us a while ago, at least on my end. Seriously, why do I bother? #
• 19:44 feeling numb #
• 00:37 Not ok #
• 00:39 Heart hurting #
• 00:43 Not my happy ending. No happy ending for me. #
• 00:44 Not going to bother analyzing it #
• 00:49 Time to prove it. Trying not to waste my tears but it hurts i mean so little #
• 01:01 talked to friends on phone. promised to call if needed. bit better but still not ok. #
• 01:41 trying to feel #
• 02:40 crying myself to sleep #
• 02:53 Reading: “How to link Twitter to Facebook – A Twitter Tutorial | AJ Vaynerchuk” (tinyurl.com/5uew7g) #
• 02:55 Reading: “TwitThis” (tinyurl.com/3b5qnw) #
• 03:14 tinyurl.com/9qxa9a #
• 03:24 Thinking about a lot. tinyurl.com/7ujb7m #
• 03:30 will respond to replies.when I can #
• 03:31 is feeling craptastic #
• 03:31 can't sleep. praying #
• 10:33 still hurting #
• 10:36 trying to make sense of everything #
• 10:36 @Metitaitui thank you…this really hurts #
• 10:37 @yinepusayi thank you…I wish I had more words. But I don't. #
• 10:38 this is easier than journaling #
• 10:51 I could write a novel, but I'd start crying. I hate this with a passion. expect to see a lot from me. #
• 12:31 @yinepusayi thank you, again. I'm rapidly running out of cope #

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figured I'd write…

Plenty on my mind. If you don't wanna read my emo crap, just skip.

If you love someone. SHOW THEM! Don't just tell them.
Why the fuck is it so hard to comprehend?

I just ended a relationship tonight with someone who loved being in love, wanted to meet me, yet he refused to make the effort to save, even 5 bucks a paycheck.
I wasn't worth it to him, bottom line. There were other issues as well, but this just took the cake.

I ended it because I love myself enough to know that I deserve a man who's going to put me first, and who is willing to go for what he wants in life, and that includes me. Yes. A job is necessary. But a relationship is about pulling your weight. And he didn't. I invested more than I care to admit, and again learned the hard way. I'm coping. But I'm far from happy. Two years….and we were a year into the relationship when I expressed a desire to meet. Yes, he has a job.

Tweets for Today

What I'm doing

• 23:54 thank you for all the replies and snugs #
• 23:55 have possible job #
• 23:56 will know more soon I hope. $10 an hr wage #

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Fingers crossed is right….

Whoever's working overtime up there in Valhalla, keep it up I just got a project notification from Cloud10. Starts in January. Base pay is $10/hr, I hope my compy meets their specs, it should. CSR, product sales and problem solving.
Now if they have a decent set of schedules to choose from, I can start hording (saving/paying bills) cash.